Singapore — The Asscrack of the World

Singapore disgusts me on a personal, visceral level.

Every time I think of it, every part of my body gets nauseous and I bite my lip and roll my eyes into the back of my head.

There is literally nothing else that is capable of stirring within me such revulsion and distaste.

Let's start with its geography.

It's depressing. It's so flat, and so f*cking boring. It is far too small and has some of the most pathetic, polluted beaches in the world. Oil in the water, trash on the sand. Despite all the sunshine in Singapore, the skies are a weird, confused shade of grayish-blue and the way the light hits the Singaporean environment just makes everything look bad. It's like fluorescent light — it reveals every single flaw and just makes everything look ugly. Even the green stuff in Singapore looks ugly. Ugly grass, ugly trees, ugly soil. Ugly, ugly everything.

On top of that, the architecture and the street systems are individual uglies in their own right. They, and the messed up geography, come together to form a weird, malformed frankenf*ck of I-don't-even-know-what-the-f*ck-to-call-it.

Let's move on to the weather. The revolting weather. There are few things more taxing and infuriating than the heat and humidity and stickiness and sweatiness and stuffiness that you literally cannot experience anywhere else in the world (thank God). No matter what Singapore builds, things will always be destroyed by the disgusting climate.

This brings me to my next point about how people think Singapore should be a role model in terms of cleanliness and hygiene. I don't know how the f*ck people could ever pass that judgement. There might not be a lot of trash lying around but the MOLD, the MOLD that grows everywhere because of the humidity just ruins EVERYTHING. Everything's either sticky or slippery or slimy. It's nasty.

Singapore is also a smelly cesspool. Every single bad smell is amplified to hell because of the heat and humidity. It doesn't help that everyone sweats like sh*t. And God help you if the garbage truck crosses your path.

Now, let's talk about the most disgusting part of Singapore. The centerpiece of this rant, and some of the grossest things that you could ever come across: Singaporeans.

Singaporeans are the vilest, foulest creatures that I, personally, have ever encountered. They are insecure, distasteful pieces of sh*t. They have no style, they have no flair, they have no originality. Always looking for validation, always expressing themselves in the most distasteful manner. No beauty, no authenticity, no sense.

The thing about Singaporeans — however — that actually makes me want to puke my body inside out is the way they sound. It doesn't matter what language they're speaking, and it doesn't matter what kind of English they're speaking. They could be speaking Singlish, and they could be speaking proper, standard English, but it doesn't matter. No matter what they speak, they always sound like something that exploded out of a sick rhino's ass. This is, in my opinion, what is ruining (or has already ruined) the country. The saddest part is that it will never change. Poor Singaporeans. Look bad, sound bad, smell bad. What the f*ck

I'm not gonna talk about the government or the education system because I don't need to repeat what everybody already knows. Poor citizens, poor kids, poor everyone. Rigid, boxed-up little mouse-people with no guts and no voice. Uncharismatic, uninspired, uninspiring.

I honestly don't know what the f*ck Singaporeans are so proud of on their national day, because what in the blue hell are they screaming about??? A little fishing village turned into a big phony clusterf*ck is something to be celebrated????? Are you kidding????????

Singapore is fake. Fake, phony, artificial, no realness, no genuineness, no nothing. Fake buildings, fake culture, fake people with both colonial and crab mentalities. Everything in Singapore is a bad copy of something else. Desperate and disgusting. Tasteless and tragic. There is literally no hope for this place.

Singapore is irreparably messed up on every single level, in every single sector, in every single social group. Never in my life have I seen a country this f*cking gross and never would I ever wish for anyone to be born in it. May this f*cked up country and its f*cked up people crumble to the ground.