When Singaporeans Go Overseas: Sh*tsalad and Fake National Pride

When I go on a vacation to get away from this f*cked up piece of shit excuse of a country, the last, LAST, LAST thing I want to run into is a Singaporean, or worse, a group of Singaporeans.

I've heard Singaporeans say things like "WOW when u go overseas u can detect other SG ppl from a MILE away because the way we talk is so distinctive and singlish slang mother homeland camaraderie this country is so beautiful but i miss drinking milo and pigging out on char kway teow meow meow meow"

SHUT THE F*CK UP

I really do not understand what it is with Singaporeans that take so much pride in their country when they know that it really just sucks. It is completely beyond my comprehension as to why they would even identify as Singaporean especially when they're overseas, when #1 nobody cares, and #2 why the f*ck would you want to identify in that way??????

Even the word SINGAPORE sounds f*cking weird. Who the f*ck came up with this name???

Recently, I read an article by this high-flying ACS(I) girl who goes to Yale. She is apparently a writer for YaleDailyNews and wrote an article about Singlish and the Singaporean accent not being accepted in the US.

She basically talks about how an acquaintance told her "I'm not attracted to the Singaporean accent, no offence, it just doesn't turn me on", and then goes on to wax lyrical about how Singlish is the wondrous language of her beautiful Singaporean childhood and then starts blabbering about pink bougainvilleas and hawker centres and about how she was SO hurt and offended by what the acquaintance said

HELLO????? B*TCH, WHY ARE YOU EVEN SURPRISED????????????????

This no-brain bimbo actually tried to glorify Singlish!!!!! What the f*ck???????????

This is exactly what she wrote:

"An accent carries import. My accent is fleshy and meaty, a brew of Singapore’s four official languages. I chew on its English hard-toffee, on its Mandarin soya, on its Malay sambal twang, on its Tamil cumin. Sometimes it gets knotted around my tongue, language tangled in a fishnet. Sometimes, it makes a rough landing: What? Americans ask. What is this foreign thing?"

You know what this "foreign thing" is? You know what it is?

It's a hideous, disgusting frankenf*ck of a mother tongue that was made by people who took the WORST features from the languages you listed and mashed them together to form a cringey, discombobulated sh*tsalad MESS that delusional bimbos like you think is a source of national pride and identity for you and the rest of your mentally disabled country.

Just the other day I watched an Instagram story of a 20-year-old Singaporean male who went to Australia to study. He took a video of a girl dancing in a club, and when I turned up the volume, this is what I heard:

"WAH! WAH! U R a SOOPESTAH! SOOPESTAH!" (he meant to say "superstar")

In another one of this person's videos, he was at the gym with his friend.

"Daaaaammmm sick cunt bruh, sick cunt bruh, awright bruh"

And these people wonder why other people can't stand the way Singaporeans speak.

I mean, if you can pull off an accent of another country/culture well and actually sound convincing, good. Speak and present yourself in a way that makes you feel comfortable and what makes you feel yourself. Be authentic and true to who you are and you will be respected for that.

On the other hand, I just CANNOT stand it when these Singaporeans go overseas and #1 imitate a different accent BADLY just to temporarily fit in and THINK they're doing a good job, and #2 get all shocked, appalled, and offended when someone tells them that their accent isn't exactly the prettiest bauble on the Christmas tree.

You love your sh*tsalad accent because it's what you heard growing up, fine. Love it all you want. But honestly, how deep in your f*cking delusion do you have to be to actually say that it objectively sounds even remotely pleasant???????

Bitch who wrote the stupid pointless snowflake article, GO HOME. Gross, no-taste-no-sense, disgusting Instagram story guy, GO HOME.

F*CK OFF BACK to the overcrowded rancid sh*thole that you love so goddamn much, STAY THERE, speak ALL the sh*tsalad you want, and by all means, drink your F*CKING milo.